Unhealthy relationships don’t always start out badly — they often develop gradually, which can make them hard to recognise. Understanding the warning signs early can help you protect yourself and make safer choices.
Why Adults with Disability Can Be at Higher Risk
Research shows that adults with intellectual disability and Autism can be at increased risk of being in unhealthy or exploitative relationships. This is not because of their disability — it is often because they have received less education about what healthy relationships look like, and may have fewer social connections to turn to for perspective.
Education changes this. The Date-Ability program at FS Academy is designed specifically to help adults recognise these patterns and build safer relationships.
7 Warning Signs to Know
1. You Feel Afraid of Their Reaction
If you find yourself editing what you say or do because you are afraid of how the other person will respond, this is a serious warning sign. Fear should not be part of a healthy relationship.
2. They Control Who You See or Talk To
An unhealthy partner or friend may try to limit your contact with other people — your family, your support workers, or your friends. This is a form of isolation and control.
3. Your No Is Not Respected
In a healthy relationship, saying no — about anything — is accepted. If someone continues to push after you say no, argues with you, or makes you feel guilty for setting a limit, this is not acceptable behaviour.
4. They Make All the Decisions
If one person always decides where you go, what you do, how you spend money, or how you spend your time — without asking for your input — this is a sign of an unequal and potentially harmful relationship.
5. They Put You Down or Make You Feel Worthless
Name-calling, constant criticism, humiliation (even disguised as jokes), and making you feel stupid or useless are all forms of emotional abuse. A person who cares about you will not consistently make you feel bad about yourself.
6. You Feel Like You Have to Earn Their Affection
If you feel like their kindness or attention is something you have to work for, or that it disappears when you do something they dislike, this is a pattern worth noticing. Healthy relationships offer consistent care and respect.
7. Things Get Worse After Conflict
Disagreements happen in all relationships. But if conflict regularly leads to aggression, threats, punishment, or the other person refusing to speak to you for days, this is not a healthy pattern.
What to Do If You Recognise These Signs
You don’t have to handle this alone. Talk to a support worker, a trusted family member, or a professional counsellor. If you are in immediate danger, contact the police or call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).
FS Academy’s 1:1 Relationship Counselling provides a safe, confidential space to talk through relationship concerns with a qualified counsellor.
FS Academy tip: The Date-Ability program teaches participants to identify healthy versus unhealthy relationship patterns as part of its Safety module.